just came back frm shop.. everything was fine till dear told mi tht he's very fustrated on our way back home.. i asked him wad happened.. he sort of refused to tell mi till i force him to.. he told mi tht his dad ask him not to work anymore.. asked him to go back to malaysia.. i dunno wad to tell him.. den chiang kor kor called him.. after tht we went up to the hostel le.. left dear's place at ard 2 plus.. while waiting for cab.. dear asked mi wad if he realli quit working.. at tht point of time.. i realli felt like crying.. i realli wanna ask him to stay.. but i noe i shouldnt be so selfish.. i shouldnt think only for myself.. we both kept quit for a moment.. den dear help mi to flagged a cab.. on my way back.. i smsed dear.. telling him i'll respect his decision no matter wad.. deep in my heart.. i wished i didnt send him the sms.. coz i dun wished to be left behind.. it's very contradicting.. i'm afraid tht when the next time we mit.. our feeling wont be tht close anymore.. not bcoz i dun haf confidence in him or in this relationship.. when i reached home.. dear smsed mi sorry.. i asked him why apologise to mi when he didnt do anything wrong.. den he called.. he said he knew tht i'm hurt and noe i'm crying.. yes i am.. but in front of him.. i cant let him noe.. coz i realli dun wished his decision to be affected by mi.. i realli wished tht he's by my side right now.. i used to be a very strong girl.. but i dunno wad happened to mi this time round.. i dunno wad to do.. i dunno which decision to make.. i dont wanna live my life without him by my side.. i admit i'm very dependent on him.. coz he let mi noe wad true love is all about.. he's always there for mi whenever i encountered anything.. he always there to support my decision.. he changed mi from a very bad tempered lady to a lady who seldom show her temper.. he changed my life.. he changed mi.. without him.. i wont be like wad i am today.. when i'm being bullied at work.. he would always listen to my complains and console mi after tht.. he's my everything.. why must all these things happen to mi and not others.. why am i the only one tht's facing all these shits.. why cant i be together wif the one i realli love.. why must we always be seperated.. why why why.. who can tell mi why.. wad's the reason behind all these.. dear said he didnt dare to tell mi as he's afraid tht i'll cry.. tht's why during when he's back.. the first few days he behaved so wierd.. so strange.. he said he dunno how to approach mi and tell mi this.. i understand the feelings tht he's feeling deep inside him.. and i'm glad tht he did spare a thought of my feelings.. but wad can i do.. will he stay if i asked him to.. izzit too much of mi to ask him to stay.. can i be selfish for just this time round.. i dun wanna be left alone again.. i dun wanna be seperated from him again.. should i tell him tht.. should i tell him my feelings.. these few days.. when dear didnt tell mi abt this stuff.. jing kept ask mi not to be sad.. asked mi not to chen qiang.. i was realli blur as i realli dunno wad she is implying to mi.. is this wad she's talking abt.. i'm beri confused.. i'm tired.. i no longer haf the energy to think abt anything.. i just wanna be with him forever.. i dun wanna be seperated from him.. is it realli tht difficult.. are we realli meant to be together.. dear.. will u stay if i asked u to.. will u be there for mi in future.. tell mi wad should i do in order not to affect u.. tell mi wad should i do to let u stay.. i realli need u.. and i love u.. can u allow my selfishness just to be wif u.. can u stay for my sake??

*another 37 days to my 20th birthday.. will u be here wif mi.. will u celebrate it wif mi.. i just wan it to be a memorial one.. i dun wanna spend my birthday alone again.. all i asked for xmas.. is to be wif u for the rest of my life.. u're my guardian angel.. no one can replace u in my heart.. when can all these things come to an end.. when will we be free frm all these problems.. when will the obstacles vanish.. when can we find our paradise.. a paradise which oni belongs to me and u.. nth and nobody else..

laughed together at <33
3:35 AM
_____________________. _____.

The Gurl
Catherine;
Woshiwawa;
20;
23rd Jan 1987;
Attached;
Hougang;

Loves
her family;
her dear;
her punks;
her cuties frm clz BM;
her cosmetic;
her phone;
her hair;
being pampered like a princess by her prince;
dolling up;
k session;
sleeping;
watching sunset & sunrise;
nail arts;
online shopping;

Hates
being necglected;
restrictions;
backstabbers;
bitches;
being accussed ;
being alone;
darkness;
ghost;
no money;

Wishes
good results;
everlasting love wif her dear ;
more time to be wif dear ;
more money ;
more cosmetic ;
guess wallet ;
guess bag ;
car licence ;
more tops ;
sony ericsson k800i ;
to become a successful beautician or make up artist;

Memories
archives here.

Speak